The aim of mindfulness is not relaxation nor a quiet mind. What?!
Mindfulness has become increasingly popular, both within and outside of counseling. With popularity and marketability, the term has come to describe a wide array of practices, which span from affirmations to visualizations and various forms of meditation.
The image usually associated with mindfulness is of a peacefully looking person (often a young white female--which speaks to how the market views the concept, more than to what mindfulness actually is), eyes closed, in a yoga-like position.
For anyone who has practiced mindfulness meditation for any amount of time,
a herd of galloping wild horses is more likely to depict what their minds look and feel like behind those peaceful-looking eyes than the picture of a lotus flower.
To be sure, yoga, relaxation or other visualization/affirming techniques can be immensely useful to soothe our stressed out nervous systems or overly critical minds. But that's not necessarily where the power of mindfulness rests.
If it's not relaxing nor does it clear the mind, what's the point of mindfulness then?!
Our minds and bodies are designed to think and sense at all times. They are at our service 24/7. They collect, classify and integrate an enormous amount of information for our benefit.
Now, there is a big difference between watching a herd of wild horses gallop and buck, and riding the horses while they do so.
Watching can be interesting, even beautiful; it allows you to see what might be triggering all the action and respond accordingly. Riding wild horses, however, is more likely to be terrifying. Not to mention that holding on for dear life doesn't allow for much perspective-taking.
So back to our minds. They are designed to sort through and categorize information quickly, based on past experiences, and (much of the time) outside of our awareness. This is sometime useful and sometime not. The thoughts that emerge from that process are then a bit like wild horses. They can graze peacefully one moment, and get spooked by a sudden noise the next. Without perspective, we end up believing that our “thoughts r’us” and getting dragged on potentially exhausting roller coaster rides.
By learning to watch what our mind does with the information it receives, we can become familiar with its inner workings and begin to decide what's worth our attention. We can learn to appreciate, be grateful for, and maximize the amazing power it has, and not ride it indiscriminately.
At first, watching closely our minds at work can be a bit overwhelming! But as we bring genuine curiosity to its attempts to support us, and some gentleness when it doesn't fully succeed in doing so,
our whole life becomes much lighter, joyful and effective.
And for that, mindfulness is nothing short of a game changer!